August 7, 2104....Submissiveness

1 Peter 3:1-2

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any I them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see purity and reverence of your lives.

We either believe all of it or none of it.

Of my entire Christian journey.....submissiveness to my husband has been the most difficult. It was never my intent growing up to marry or have children....my dreams included a life of independence and freedom not a home and family....but God changed that. He introduced me to someone who made me more than who I am, who taught me, challenged me and who I knew the first time I saw him.....that this is who I would marry. Crazy, yes. We married young....18 and 19...and against the odds started building a life together.

After the first seven years, I realized that both of our perceptions were totally different. He grew up with a single mom who kept an immaculately clean house and I grew up with my and dad married and a dad that could literally fix anything.....and neither of us could live up to the ideal of marriage to the other. Marriage was wonderful until the other person couldn't live up to our expectations. He wanted a perfectly cleaned house but didn't want a part in making that happen and I expected him to be able to fix any repair needed whether it be car, washing machine, etc...and then we started to go to church and I started hearing that I was to be submissive....seriously! Or my favorite...subservient. Thankfully, our God is patient.

I can be very strong-willed and as I would study God's word this would be a part I would easily glean over....a part I would omit, refuse to look at....couldn't do. But God seems to work on us in layers....in increments at a time....and slowly I came to realize that this portion of His word was just as relevant as any of His word......and I had to trust Him.

I came to realize that God made me strong for a reason.....to walk with confidence in the brothels, to look evil in its evilest and not flinch, to bury one of my greatest treasures on this earth....and be ok. But He did not make me strong to be strong in my marriage....instead He gave me a place of refuge here on earth that can be found in my own husband's arms. A place where I can just be....and he will protect me.

Satan has created strife within our marriages especially those of the church. The footholds we give him are footholds made of pride....and I'm afraid, as women, we are the worst. We either trust God with it all or none of it...... I saw as I began to let go and trust.... My Travis flourished in ways I had only dreamed.....but even if he hadn't, my part in this was to be obedient to God...and through that, I find freedom. Too many times, I believe we wait for the other person to change first and then we will change. So we continue in a cycle of dysfunction that must make satan proud. But as women of God, we have been told to be different from the world, to first be submissive so that they might see.....

Let it begin with us. I'm almost ashamed to admit that years ago, I started "The Love Dare" five times and couldn't get through the first week.... Then, I thought it was Trav's fault....now I know it was my own. Love...above all else love.