Healings

Healings......

Have I asked God to heal my father and have I asked Him with the boldness that comes from the expectation that it will be fulfilled?

Or do I walk timidly asking Him for only what I know He can deliver?

For the past several weeks prior to dad's diagnosis, I had been overwhelmed with a thirst for His word. Finding myself reading scripture outside of my typical reading pattern and patiently letting myself soak in His word...trying to put myself into the settings of those who wrote the Scriptures as they experienced life while being taught by the Great I Am.

Initially, it seems that would just amazing, yes? To be disciples by the author of our faith, but what about life that happened around the discipleship? What about day to day living? We don't have a journal account of it all. We have the highlights and important parts but what about the emotions, the struggles, the tears and laughter. What about the feeling in he stomach when Truth really, really broke through????

And that is where I want to live. There. In that place. The place where Truth is most evident. Do I think God can heal my Father? Absolutely. Will I beg Him for it? No, probably not. I will implore of Him that His will be done...not mine. I don't know what that outcome looks like but I do know that His outcome holds the plans for my father to prosper him and not harm him, plans to love him and protect him....for eternity. My earthly plans for my dad would be simply that he would never leave us...ever. And what kind of plan is that other than a selfish one. I will choose to rejoice in His call, His decision, His wisdom.

Sometimes maybe the balance becomes where the prosperity is less in this world and harm is more and then we are blessed beyond our biggest imaginations.

Does it bother me when others pray for his healing? Not at all. Please pray for my father. Pray for all that are sick and ill. Pray with the expectation that they will be healed....in His timing....in His place....ether in this world or beyond. Don't become disillusioned or saddened when prayer of healing doesn't seem to be answered. It doesn't mean you weren't praying enough , strong enough or loud enough. It simply means that God answered in a way that was better than your desires.

Hands opened wide....this is all His. And we are okay with that.

July 19

The boy and his Pappa

Today has been a reflective day of sorts. Dad commenting that no children should have to go through this....and so soon after loosing Tae.

We all will go through this in some form or fashion. Death is not a respecter of people or persons but rather the most objective visitor of all.....

I'm wiser than I was when we traveled this path with mom and more reflective than even with Taellor. Death and I have become old friends of sort. Not good friends but the type of friend that you know is coming and means no harm yet has to complete its task.

We walk slowly..... purposefully and in faith.

July 18.... Heading Home to Pappa

Heading home to Pappa one last time..... True to form, an unknowing person in line asked Slate in what fun vacation he was going on with his mother. "My Pappa had cancer and he maybe joining my sister and Nanna in heaven soon." As the stranger stuttered a bit and them looked at me for an explanation, Slate simply said, "I'm going home to Pappa."

There are many journeys and paths that we must walk even when we don't want to. Too often, I think that we have begun to believe that to be in obedience or to walk in His path means happiness and total bliss. Yet, obedience is filed with both bliss and tears, happiness and sorrow.

It isn't in the emotions...it is in the discipline to follow.

Life Interrupted.....

For those of you who follow on my Facebook page, you are aware that my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer the middle of July.  Slaton and I flew back to be with him.  Three weeks and six days later, he passed away...making the transition to heaven peacefully.  I titled this as life interrupted, however, God has reaffirmed to me time and time again that this wasn't my life interrupted at all but the interruptions on my life are the ones that I place in them outside of what He has planned.

I am the interruption. 

During that time, my posts went back to being more about death, the process and the aftermath.  I'm going to try to post them on here in hopes that the journey might encourage others that are walking the same or similar path.  It was easier this time....and God was ever faithful....as always.

1 Timothy 6:19 The True Life

1 Timothy 6:19

In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

So that we might take hold of the life that is truly life.

Hard to imagine, isn't it? A life better than this? A life that is so much more than we live today that it is considered the true life and this is simply the shadows leading up to it.
Hard to imagine.

Especially when we put so much into this life. Creating our world so that it is as perfect as we can make it. We strive to become self-sufficient and self-aware while searching to answer the questions that linger inside our souls. And, yet, this is not our true life.

We create personal masterpieces in the ways of our homes, careers, families, our bodies and sometimes our churches. We expend our time and energy searching for the next big thing, whatever that might be. We are constantly searching for the "thing" that will allow us to arrive, allow us to be still, allow us to fit in and be content.

When God told Noah to build an ark, Noah sat out to obey his command. He built and labored amidst hecklers and unbelievers, yet he stayed steadfast and on point. He knew to Whom he listened. He knew what really mattered. He knew the voice of His Lord so well that he completed the task without a single drop of rain as encouragement or confirmation. He obeyed.
I'm afraid today many of us would approach the task in a multitude of ways. We would try to walk on both sides of the fence. We would build the ark but we would try to find a way that would also appease the hecklers. We would find a way suitable to them that would either involve them, entertain them or at the very least be hospitable to them in some manner....when sometimes, just maybe, there are to be moments that cause uncomfortableness deep in ones soul. Moments that require a response from the person within instead of being glossed over by others for fear of causing discomfort.

Or, perhaps, we would want to see confirmation. Just one drop of rain. One drop of water. Clouds forming in the distant. We'd get our inner circle together and pray about it and discuss it. We would read books about it. We would gather in the troops...the real builders to oversee it. We would make it our project instead of God's or we wouldn't even make it to the point of making it a project at all.

There is a Voice that speaks directly to our soul. Do we listen? Do we even recognize it and know when to listen? And then how do we react? Our true life awaits....will we choose to live it.

Live worthy.

1 Timothy 6:13-16 The Good Confession

1 Timothy 6:13-16

In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.

The good confession.

In front of a judge who would seemingly decide His worldly fate, He made the good confession when it might have been so much easier to have taken a different path.  He made the good confession.  Pilate asked a direct question and Jesus answered with clarity and boldness...with humility instead of arrogance.

How many times have we been given the opportunity to make "the good confession" and we have simply taken the different path?  Perhaps it just didn't seem to be the right time, we didn't seem to have just the right relationship or we just didn't want to get involved so we don't.  Or perhaps our response depends on where we are at when asked?  Perhaps when we are in a place where an explanation of our faith will be appreciated or even heralded, we speak of our allegiance loudly.  However, when we find ourselves in places where our faith will attract attention or quite possibly require, at the very least, an explanation, we quietly refrain from answering directly or perhaps not even at all.

Yet when we find ourselves needing Him and His provisions, we speak loudly.  When we found ourselves wronged or treated unjustly by this world, we run quickly to His shelter.  When we find ourselves knocking at death's door, we call out His name and He answers us.  Every single time.

He reaches and draws us to Him without rebuke but rather with the softness of a Father who simply knows.  He loves us.  He just does.  He gave us life and provides us with a Light that darkness can't extinguish....no matter how dark.  A Light that shines through our darkest night and rivals our darkest day.  It never fades nor does it ever cease to exist.  A Light that isn't determined by what we define it as being but rather a Light that defines each of us completely independent of who we think we are.  He sees us as who we truly are when oftentimes we can't see it ourselves.  He sees His creation as in its purest form.  He sees our beginning and our seemingly end on this earth which is highlighted by His ability to see past what we can see. 

He makes no mistakes.

The world will discourage the boldness our faith.  It just will.  It will try to cause fear to guide our every steps seeking to discourage and contain us.  But, as children of His, we were never meant to be contained.  We were meant to soar on the wings of eagles, move mountains and stand boldly against the giants of this world.  I dare say, however, it will only be when we step outside of our own strength, when we have spent all that we have inside ourselves and we have left everything at His feet that we will experience the greatness of Who He is.  Only then can we soar when the wind and gravity drags us down.  Only then can we move mountains that are entrenched in the earth.  Only then can we stand firm no matter what we face off against.

Only then can we stand face to face against the mightiest judge in this land and not waver in our faith.

For some of us, it is a life long journey.  We lay it down and pick it up.  We walk in His strength until we can take it back ourselves.  We live in constant upheaval of trying to do it on our own while proclaiming His greatness when, quite honestly, we haven't given Him the latitude to showcase His greatness.  We have only experienced the previews.  Today, we stand with the choice of Who we follow but we also stand with the necessity of being disciplined enough to follow and allow Him to lead.

Live different.

1 Timothy 6:4-5 Live With Wisdom

1 Timothy 6:4-5

He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and and quarrels about words that result in envy, strive, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the Truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.

Unhealthy interest.

How different would our lives be if we simply refused to engage in controversies? How many negative thoughts and ideas do we willing bring into our world as we listen to malicious talk and evil suspicions? How often do we entertain those whose minds are corrupt filled with envy and and strive?

And we wonder why our lives are filled with constant friction?

There are those in this world who will attempt to extinguish the joy in our lives. Perhaps not purposeful, perhaps even just pawns themselves, they seek to surround our lives with utter chaos. Their words are dripping of gossip, lies and envious words. As soon as they hear, they can't wait to spread.

And, we willingly choose to listen.

We control who and what we bring into our lives. Sometimes, we get caught up into the busyness of the world and we find ourselves seemingly as a ship at sea trying to just stay afloat. We try not to create any more waves and just try to sail. Yet, we were the ones who, purposefully or not, placed our ship amongst dark waters. And as the words continue to fill our life out of these relationships, we become more and more entangled.

Likewise, there are those who find game out of arguing. They find sport out of trying to "trip" us up.....trying to find our weak spots in our faith and pointing them out quickly. They hold court and judgement based upon a few words here and there. Never truthfully seeking for themselves, they are merely trying to "enlighten" those around them.

God has made us wise. He has filled us with great wisdom. Great wisdom. We must be intentional about whom we choose to listen. We must become disciplined against listening to gossip and malicious talk. Purposefully walking away, disengaging and protecting ourselves and our families from the chaos that seeks to enter.

We can do that. Really.

And by doing so, not only do we stop the unhealthy conversation from entering our minds, but quite possibly we may cause them to pause and ponder why we no longer engage. Why we no longer listen? And, perhaps someday they will ask why? The question that opens the door to share the greatest Story ever told.

We are called to live different from this world...in it, not of it.
Do we?

Live worthy.