I have found that many things have taken on a different light so to speak since Taellor has died. And this is one of them. I used to approach the Lord's Supper with as much reverence as possible, use it as a time of personal reflection and examine my heart.
And then Taellor died.
While I am left with grape juice in a plastic cup and a cracker to honor my King, she is with Him face to face. Face to face. While I am left to examine my heart and subjected daily to the presence of sin, she is not. While I am left to scour the Scriptures to find out more about our Lord, she knows Him. While I am left with prayer and reflection to draw closer to Him, she couldn't be closer.
For she lives in the places of Scripture that are still a mystery to me. She walks the streets of gold and has seen her prepared place. She has seen it and walks it while I still read about it. She has been reunited with those who have gone before while I still miss them. She has traversed the great divided between this world and eternity while I still await.
There is something about burying a child before her parents die but there is something completely different regarding the child completing the journey before the parent. As I read Scripture, as I walk my chosen path and, yes, as I partake in the Lord's Supper, there is realness that is now there that wasn't there before.
My place at the table has been set but is still awaiting my arrival. My daughter's place has been taken. Her seat at His Table awaits no more. She no longer has to partake of a substitute body and blood for she walks intimately with the King. And there is joy found in that.
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